WRITE DOWN. Where you got. YOURS from.

aaaaand just like that, we're back.

Not full on diary-of-a-mad-black-woman, but irritated. At Betty.
Who is taking me out drinking tonight?

12pm

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

choronda:

wontonburritomeals:

Flip-cup Wednesdays are reminiscent of Kickball Tuesdays.  Oh and so are the morning after hangovers.

Yeah, no kidding. Last night was a big mistake. Not only did I get obliterated at flip cup, I fucked up our potential win against the 2FFs. Then, in my drunken stupor, I was somehow persuaded to go to Jack’s. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

My 1 mile walk to work this had to be cabbed this morning. And that half-cold I was battling is now a three-quarters-cold.

Decision fail.

1. You didn’t get obliterated, you were holdin it down chank. Recognize. 2. I’m having Powerade, coffee, and Advil for breakfast so it’s safe to say we all rowing in the same fucked up boat this morning. 3. Jacks? Really? You left us to go to Jacks? Yes, that was a fail.

Via Shit I like.

10am

The Cure

I had fully intended to post this last night when I got home, but you know how sometimes you go out and drink and you think you aren’t really drunk and then you sit down and realize you didn’t eat dinner and you might just be rocked? Yeah, that was me. Needless to say, my head is pounding and I just want to curl up and die sleep.

Back to the point of this post - I don’t feel angry today! Granted, I’ve been at hell work for less than an hour, but this is a very good sign. I owe it to my friends. This entire time I’ve been pulling away thinking that solitary confinement was the best thing for me, and it turns out I was wrong (shocking, I know). So, you, you, you, and especially you - thank you. I love you all dearly, don’t know what I’d do without cha.

Also, sexy Dave, I want to have your babies. Even if we don’t have babies, can we just bone like, forever? When you lifted up your shirt to wipe the beer off your face, I swear I came twice.

9am

Can't Sleep

It’s 5am. I’ve been up since 4 and can’t seem to go back to sleep. I’m still pissed. And slightly concerned that I will have trouble putting on a happy face with Trex and Betty today.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a wicked upper cut if I need to knock a bitch out. Amen.

5am

Romans 12:19

Today was hard. Today was the first time I can honestly say that I can relate to people who “black out” and beat the shit out of someone out of anger. Anger. I have a lot of it right now.

I sent an e-mail to my bitch counterpart Betty* telling her that I’d asked for the week of December 21 off so I could go see my family, and my boss had approved it. I take a week off at Christmas every year since i’m the only one in the hallway who has family that is out of state. She, in typical passive agressive fashion, forwards my e-mail to her boss T-Rex* and says she was planning to take a few days off too, and maybe I would be flexible since I had taken off Thanksgiving and Christmas last year. T-Rex then sends an e-mail to my bosses and the other Administrators basically blasting me for “telling” the others when I was taking off, rather than working with my counterparts to come up with a schedule. She bitches about how Betty hasn’t had any time off the last 3 holidays, and then goes on to order that I change my vacation to accommodate Betty. My one cool boss forwards me the e-mail from T-Rex so that I would know what is going on. Well T-Rex, since you obviously are willing to play the role of the dumb self absorbed cunt, let me break it down for you:

1. The reason Betty hasn’t had any time off is BECAUSE YOU WON’T GIVE HER ANY. Every time she asks for a holiday off, you insist that she stay and man an empty office “just in case” someone should need something. Meanwhile, you and all the other Administrators are OFF. IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS. Don’t blame your shit on me.
2. I love how this company talks a big game about how everyone needs to work hard and play harder and make sure you take your PTO, blah blah blah and yet when I try to take mine it’s a fucking issue. I AM THE JOB, you dumb whore. I keep later hours than you do and I have YET to take a vacation where I didn’t work the entire time. That’s why I have over a month of PTO saved up. If you don’t want people to take time off, then change the fucking policy.
3. I got my boss’s blessing. I have my ass covered. YOU and BETTY have yet to cooperate/work with/accommodate or pretend to care about anyone but yourselves. When Betty takes time off, she doesn’t “cooperate” with me, she tells me this is when she’s taking off and I have no choice but to deal with it. And don’t fucking act like you don’t know what the shit is going on. You are just mad that someone around here made a fucking decision without you micromanaging them. I guess you can dish it out but you can’t take it?
4. I already bought my tickets. My boss said I don’t have to be here. SO I’M NOT FUCKING GOING TO FUCKING BE HERE. And yes, I took last Christmas off. And the one before that, and the one before that, and the TWO BEFORE THAT. As long as my family is 700 miles away, I will continue to do so. If you have a problem, then you need to re-write the leave policy, because last time I checked, I was following it to the letter. do not come for me bitch.
5. Last but not least, the only reason I didn’t go down to 17th street and grab KV’s brick and smash out every window in this fucking place is Romans 12:19. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath. For it is written, vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.” You can’t do people dirty and expect not to pay the price. Payback is a bitch - just like you.

9pm

kiamatthews:

Last night I went on a not date - a movie and dinner with a guy who I was once interested in but that has since fizzled into the “let’s be buds” realm. Whatever. Taking the train home, I was accosted by the stench of vomit - a girl was being hustled onto the train by her boyfriend and another guy. This bitch was tore. up. Who gets that drunk at 9:30 on a Monday night? The thing is, the two guys she was with were completely sober. So she’s all flailing around since the train was packed and there were no seats. Her boyfriend is doing his best to keep her from tumbling to the ground and he’s rubbing her back and being all boyfriend like. At one point she rushed off the train to puke, PRAISE GOD. Close the doors and let’s be gone. But of course god hates me for watching gay porn and we sat at the stop, with the door open for about 10 minutes, long enough for drunkie and her cohorts to re-board the train. FFFFUUUU-.

As she’s standing there, Stumbles Mcgee all over my left side, I became increasingly annoyed. Not that she was completely violating my 3-foot personal space bubble, but that she was SO DRUNK and they weren’t. I can’t stand it. These girls are completely unaware of their bodies and how much they can drink and get so totally shit canned that they need to be helped out the clurb and whatnot. You almost never see a dude being coddled when he’s bombed out of his mind. Stumble, fall down, walk it off, go home. But chicks need to be ushered places and taken care of and have their backs rubbed while they puke into a random person’s recycling bin. Am I being unnecessarily feminazi about this?

I just don’t like the idea of being so fucked up I can’t get myself home. How is that in any way appealing? Look, I used to get live like everyone else in their twenty’s. Power hours and Sparks binges and (fill in the blank) bombs on special at happy hour. But Christ man, I can always handle my own situation. And really, I don’t ever want to not have at least SOME of my wits about me. This is a direct product of growing up with a neurotic mother, but honestly, you never know when shit is gonna get real, when you’re gonna have to employ some tactical moves. Being so drunk that I can’t hold my head up puts me at a severe disadvantage if I need to do some evasive maneuvers.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SHIT IS GOING TO POP OFF.

I agree. I mean, at my absolute drunkest (I think - entire bottle of Goldschlagar split between me and my BFF) the worst I did was roll down a grassy hill in front of my dorm and then pass out on my floor (or so I am told). And not to get all preachy and mother-ish, but hello this is how women get raped, kidnapped, abused, etc… While they are bombed out of their minds with no awareness of WTF is going on around them. I mean, how do we know those two douche bags she was with were her boyfriend and friend? They could be two randoms who picked her up at the bar because she was obviously too drunk to function and then took her home and did God knows what to her. I am thankful that even when I am out in public and very obviously drunk, A) people are usually wise enough not to fuck with me and B) my friends are good enough to make sure I stay out of trouble and vice versa. Also, cracking up at evasive maneuvers. I totes agree. You never know when you are gonna have to dodge a bullet or beat a bitch down. On the metro. For puking on or around you.

Via Hi My Name is Kia

10am

By the skin of my teeth...

I accidentally turned my alarm off instead of hitting snooze this morning, causing me to be 30 minutes late for work. I was flying down 395 doing about 85 and singing along to the radio and out of the corner of my eye saw that I’d just blown past an Arlington cop.

Shit.

Thankfully, he either wasn’t paying attention or was not interested in arresting me because he never pulled out or turned on his lights. Thank you Jesus.

9am

Just say no.

This has never been a strong suit of mine - shocking, I know. Now I get to spend my evening schleping out to Fairfax so that a colleague can drop his car off to be fixed, and then schlep him back to his house. I have stuff to do tonight! But do you think I said that? Of course not. Because I’m nice. Fucking hell.

2pm